Life is hectic—for all of us. But if you want a relationship, you need to make dating a priority and set time aside each day to do it.
I remember reading about a 50-year-old woman who adopted a baby (imagine?!) and suddenly found her life turned upside down. She managed the new schedule, but her free time was just a memory. She longed for the garden she used to spend hours tending. She devoted 20 minutes a day to it. Just 20 minutes. But you know what? By the end of the season, she had a beautiful garden.
I get the no time thing, though. When I was online dating, I aimed to go on one date a week. Despite breaks while travelling for work, I stuck to it and never burned out, even after seven years.
Bottom line, if you want to meet someone, you need to make an effort. Mr. Right will not come knocking while you are watching netflix in your PJs!
Here are 5 ways to meet someone without adding to your already packed agenda:
Eat dinner. You need to eat so once a week make a point of sitting alone at the bar of a restaurant or near the take out. Choose an establishment that attracts the type of person you want to meet. And bring props—books that invite questions: either read it or leave it face up beside you. If you feel too uncomfortable, have a friend sit at the other end of the bar, and text each other for entertainment.
Work out. Take up a sport. Join a cycling or hiking group. Ditch the YWCA and join an upscale club or one where your ‘type’ lives or works. One of my Six Degrees clients met her husband while jogging near her home. They both happened to venture out at the the same time each day, and started chatting. The rest is history.
Eat Lunch. A woman I read about wanted to marry a doctor so she ate lunch every day in a hospital cafeteria. Eventually she did.
Admire art. Attend art openings and walk around with a glass of wine. Art affords some of the easiest conversation starters. Going alone will require you to mingle, but you can also bring a friend as long as you separate. Make a game of it: agree to talk to three strangers, then reconvene to compare notes.
Engage in everyday life. Put your phone away, make eye contact, smile and talk to people. (Research shows connecting makes you happier anyway). A friend of a client met her husband, a top bank exec, in line at Starbucks. It all started with a simple “have you tried their bacon egg bites yet?”
Just do what you like to do and remember: you can acheive a lot in 20 minutes a day…
And if you haven’t already, plug your nose and go online. Everyone else has.